The word of the day is focus. In the next month or so Steve and I have a lot of things to decide, do, and weather.
His first scan since starting treatment will be on December 2, and the results of this will determine whether he continues treatment as is or discusses a change. As you know from the past, scan dates are stressful at best. This time we at least know that his symptoms have decreased so the scan should show favorable results. Still, human as we are, we also brace for the not-so-good.
Steve also needs to make a decision regarding employment. His employer has been generous, faithful, caring, compassionate, and a hundred other positive words, but the time has come to face the reality that Steve may not be returning to work. This hits a person hard, a Zieser doubly so due to their extremely strong work ethic. Ending employment comes with applying for disability, deciding on insurance, figuring out finances, etc. Fortunately for us, we have been given the gift of financial security so our concerns lie more with insurance coverage and a high quality of available care. I mention this only to assure those tenderhearted team members who may read this section and want to help. As always, our need lies in emotional support, prayers, and companionship, of which we are so grateful.
Even under the best of circumstances, holidays bring added pressure to our lives. Pressure isn't always negative, but to say that we all just treat a major holiday as another day is silly. Extra planning, extra personalities around the table, even a lack of something to do brings pressure. Endless commercials showing happy families in perfect clothing around perfect trees with perfect gifts doesn't help much either. Notice they never have real families in the commercials, they have to hire actors. We are blessed to have wonderful family in our lives, but holidays also tend to highlight our needs, losses, and struggles. (sigh) Happy Holidays to all! (laugh)
So back to my original word: Focus
I realized this morning that instead of focusing on today, I was trying to handle the entire next month all at once. (Note to those who try this: It never works.) I was also focusing on the struggles we face instead of on the God who loves us unconditionally. I mean, sometimes it seems I spend more time focusing on the people who don't like me than the God who does. That is not gratefulness, that's dwelling. Don't dwell...it never turns out well.
Before I lose my train of thought, I just want to encourage everyone to really focus on the things that are important. Spend time with the people who love you and who want good things for you, eat good food, move around in happy ways, pet a dog. Focus on today and the good things you have in your life. The struggles will find you when they need to be addressed, but we don't have to take on everything all the time. Relax a little, enjoy a lot. Focus on the positive things to gain strength and energy to face the difficult times. Add love, peace, hope, compassion, and charity to the world and you will attract what you sow. Our lives are created by our focus. Your choice. I choose happiness. What about you?